I’m not sure if malaise is the right word but its the word which pops into my head when I think about how I’m feeling towards gaming. The Oxford dictionary defines it as “A general feeling of discomfort, illness, or unease whose exact cause is difficult to identify”.
That’s where I am with gaming at the moment, I can’t identify the problem and have a general discomfort or unease when trying to play games, I just can’t find any motivation to play anything and often will load a game up, stare at it for a while not knowing what i want to do before knocking it off again.
I’ve had small bounts of it before but usually it’s due to burn out on specific games but I’ve been careful not to inflict burnout this past year and have been playing a variety of different games in moderation.
However, the last few months I’ve not been playing any game other than the occasional half hour on Football Manager before getting fed up and knocking it off.
It’s not like I don’t want to play anything because I do, I’ll log onto my PC or Xbox most nights with the intention to play something but when it comes to deciding what to play I can’t decide or once I do and load it up I can’t be bothered to play it, it’s hard to explain. I often just end up watching other people play games on YouTube or Twitch.
For most games like Football Manager on the PC or Fallout 4 on the Xbox it doesn’t matter if I don’t play them as I’ve already paid for the games and got my money’s worth in play time but for online games like Eve and World of Warcraft I’m paying monthly subscriptions whether I play or not and I’m paying for Xbox live but not going online in games.
I’ve also bought some games like civ 6, Witcher 3, and Albion Online where I’ve not spent enough time playing to get my money’s worth even if they’re not costing me any more than I’ve already payed.
Without knowing the cause of the problem it’s difficult to work out what I need to do to get over it and start enjoying my gaming again but I need to try something.
I’m thinking that it could be something that I just need to play through, man up and get myself back into my games and just play them until I get over whatever this is.
I could just not play them at all, stop my subscriptions and wait for it to get better but that’s not really an option I’d like to take. Gaming has been a big part of my life for so long I don’t want to give up just yet.
One if the YouTube gamers I watch has just recently stopped gaming, he called himself The Motivational Gamer and posted videos mainly about Summoners War.
Recently he’s stopped gaming, changed his YouTube channel name and started posting videos of him doing things in real life, getting fit and losing weight etc, to be honest apart from his first new video I’ve not watched any of the others as I was there for Summoners War, however in his first one it was about stop using excuses for not doing things and just do what to want to do, as he put it, you need to stop being a little bitch.
I wonder if that’s what I need to do with my gaming, rather than accepting the lack of motivation or using excuses not to play, I just need to stop being a little bitch and just get on with it, get back playing the games I like and just enjoy playing them.
Sounds simple but it won’t be that easy.
I think I need to bring some structure to my gaming, dedicate particular nights to specific games and then spend my free time that night on the specific game and just do something enjoyable.
So in Eve I need to stop worrying about making isk or losing my ships and just go out, find some pvp and not care if I live or die as long as it’s fun.
In Warcraft I can spend a night raiding, doing some of the new quest lines, finishing off my class quests, leving alts or just collecting new pets.
As long as I’m doing something in the games then I’m not wasting my money. If this doesn’t sort things out then I may have to cancel my subscription games.
So first thing to try is having dedicated nights for each game I want to currently play.
At the moment I play 5-aside football on Wednesday and Friday evenings so I know I’m often too tired to play anything or want to play games where I don’t have to think about them. Those nights can be used for playing Football Manager and catching up on YouTube videos.
Saturdays are good night’s for stopping up late as I’ve no work on a Sunday so that can be an Eve night so I don’t need to worry about having to log off in the middle of null sec. I don’t just want 1 night dedicated to Eve though as it’s a game I want to get back into so I’ll try 2 nighta of Eve. To have a break in between playing Eve, Thursday could be a good night as if I do end up playing late Fridays at work isn’t my most productive work day as I’m winding down for the weekend so it won’t make much difference.
Sunday can be a Warcraft day as people often raid on Sundays so I could find some raid groups, it’s also a game where I can just quest for a bit before getting a early night ready for work early Monday morning.
That leaves Monday and Tuesday, I think I want to have an Xbox night where I spend time on an Xbox game, it doesn’t matter which game as I have plenty of them to catch up on so I’ll rotate through the ones I want to play each week. I think Tuesday could be good for that as I occasionally also play football on a Tuesday after work so I can play on a game where I don’t need to dedicate a lot of time on it and could play a few rounds of cod multiplayer or an hour on Fallout.
Mondays can either be a night off gaming if I need a break or a random game night where I play any game that I don’t play on another night or haven’t played the previous week. I’ve got a few steam games I’ve not spent much time on which I could play or play another Xbox game not recently played.
Next month Albion Online comes out of Beta and goes live on 17th July and I want to get into that too so Mondays may become Albion Online night and Tuesday can become my random game night.
This is all just an initial plan and may not work but it’s at least something I can try and see if it gets me out of this gaming malaise I seem to be stuck in.
As today is Monday I’ll start tonight with a random game night, I’ll pick a game and stick with playing that for the night.
If it works, you can expect my blogging posts to increase as I’ll have more stuff to write about. Fingers crossed.
– Sparko Marco